Mad Cowgirl - The Cinematic Barbituate
If we lived in a perfect world, I would be able to return this movie to my local retailer and throw it at the bridge of his nose. When this flick first released Fangoria gave it 3 out of a possible 4 stars. Needless to say I stopped taking their advice on movies for awhile.
Its boring, to the point of sleep-inducing. It should be packaged with the same warning that comes on the back of NyQuil.Sarah Lassez (kinda) stars as Therese, a health inspector with a failed marriage, an on-going affair with a hella-creepy televangelist, nymphomania, and an obsession with old kung-fu movies. She also has a very questionable relationship with her brother, a meat importer who may (or may not) have infected her with mad cow disease. Aside from that, nobody had anything remotely relevant to say during the course of the entire movie. This was a waste of time & money, two things I can never get back. I'm ashamed of myself for buying into the hype. But with every loss comes a lesson; in this case DO YOUR HOMEWORK!! If you must see this.... drink coffee.... that's been grown on a cocaine farm.
Everybody in the movie was just awful. The main character (the nympho) never comes across as sexy (or likable for that matter), which is sad because she's a great actress. Whoever played her brother deserves an award for the least convincing performance since the conception of porno. The creepy priest was SO gross, he's virtually unwatchable. I can't explain why I find him so gross, he's just the kind of guy you'd expect to find hanging around a playground. Oh and for the life of me I can't explain why this movie needed to show me 3 hundred shots of meat. Random, various meats, all of which got more camera time than anyone else in the film.
The story (or lack there of) made no sense, it had absolutely no point, and furthermore it was all over the place.
If you're expecting a lot of blood.... don't. If you're expecting a lot of action... don't. If you're expecting a lot of nudity... don't. If you're expecting at the very least a decent story.... please don't. This movie offers the same thrills as standing on line at the
Its boring, to the point of sleep-inducing. It should be packaged with the same warning that comes on the back of NyQuil.Sarah Lassez (kinda) stars as Therese, a health inspector with a failed marriage, an on-going affair with a hella-creepy televangelist, nymphomania, and an obsession with old kung-fu movies. She also has a very questionable relationship with her brother, a meat importer who may (or may not) have infected her with mad cow disease. Aside from that, nobody had anything remotely relevant to say during the course of the entire movie. This was a waste of time & money, two things I can never get back. I'm ashamed of myself for buying into the hype. But with every loss comes a lesson; in this case DO YOUR HOMEWORK!! If you must see this.... drink coffee.... that's been grown on a cocaine farm.
Everybody in the movie was just awful. The main character (the nympho) never comes across as sexy (or likable for that matter), which is sad because she's a great actress. Whoever played her brother deserves an award for the least convincing performance since the conception of porno. The creepy priest was SO gross, he's virtually unwatchable. I can't explain why I find him so gross, he's just the kind of guy you'd expect to find hanging around a playground. Oh and for the life of me I can't explain why this movie needed to show me 3 hundred shots of meat. Random, various meats, all of which got more camera time than anyone else in the film.
The story (or lack there of) made no sense, it had absolutely no point, and furthermore it was all over the place.
If you're expecting a lot of blood.... don't. If you're expecting a lot of action... don't. If you're expecting a lot of nudity... don't. If you're expecting at the very least a decent story.... please don't. This movie offers the same thrills as standing on line at the
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Time & Money are precious commodities,
to waste them on this would be criminal.
- Dave "Captain Insanity" Caroleo -
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